When progress doesn’t look like progress but is still progress
Have you ever started out with some kind of habit change, then become derailed and wondered if all your progress had disappeared?
This was my experience over the weekend. Here’s what I noticed and learned in the process.
I have had a great streak with my eating pattern changes since November last year. However this week I fell off the tracks. I received some news that really rattled me and I needed to wallow for a bit to process the reset and work through the myriad emotions I was experiencing.
Wallowing and processing looked like hot chips... and chocolate brownie… and space to feel the emotions of my reaction.
The food choices were a proper blowout yet I still know I’m making progress with my habit change.
I quietened the voices in my head that wanted to beat me up for falling off the rails.
I noticed all the different feelings I was experiencing.
I levered a tool that some call the Wallow Window and decided to give myself 48 hours to feel miserable, eat some things that I’d normally prefer not to - and then get back on track again.
My situation didn’t look like progress in that moment, but I noticed other things that I recognise as wins and I know I’m still on track. In the past, I might have seen this week as proof I'd failed. Instead, I can see evidence that I'm changing. The biggest difference isn't that I had the chips and brownie. It's that six months ago I might have stayed off track for much longer. This time I noticed what was happening, gave myself permission to be human, and returned to the habits that support me.
As I reflected on the week, I realised this is exactly the kind of conversation I have with coaching clients. When we're in the middle of a setback, it's easy to focus only on what went wrong. But progress often shows up in other ways first.
Some habit changes take some time to accumulate as visible change. In coaching we define the different ways progress can look – so that we know it’s happening even when we can’t see it.
We notice the tiny wins so that the effort involved in habit change feels worthwhile.
We plan for roadblocks and strategise work-arounds.
We clarify why the changes matter so the commitment is robust when the obstacles pop up.
My learning this week is that giving myself permission to be human has made it much easier to return to the habits that support me. I see my one step back means three steps forward.
If you're navigating habit change and wondering whether you're making progress, it may be worth looking beyond the obvious measures.
Sometimes the biggest wins are the ones we almost miss.